Kim Kardashian was shocked, just like the rest of the world, at how many women Scott Disick was spotted with at Cannes in May, but that doesn’t mean he was happy.

In a new sneak peek of the Sunday, November 5, episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kourtney Kardashian‘s ex sits down with the reality star to explain the “Cannes extravaganza.”

“It just looked like it was some big soap opera going on,” Kim, 37, tells Disick before admitting, “It was a fun show.” The “show” she’s referencing is when Kourtney, 38, flew to Cannes with boyfriend Younes Benjima in May. Disick then also flew to France and was spotted partying with multiple women over multiple days.

“Look at it in my perspective. She was on vacation with one man, a whole trip,” Disick, 34, explains to Kim. “That looks like a happier scenario than me, jumping around, trying to find happiness and these girls are not fulfilling that. I’m just not happy with anybody.”

“I think it’s beyond the girls at this point. I think if you found someone that you were happy with, I think Kourtney would be happy for you, but she sees you out and really drinking and really going through it, she just had concern,” Kim answers, which shocks Disick. “She sure didn’t say that,” he responds.

During his confessional, the father of Mason, 7, Penelope 5, and Reign, 2, reveals that Cannes “wasn’t good” and he understands that his messy life looks bad. “I don’t live the cleanest looking life. I’m a guy, I’m a little younger. Maybe the way I’m getting over her is a drop different, and it’s hard,” he says. “I don’t really know what to do. If I step out of line in one way, I could lose everybody in a matter of seconds.”

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That’s when he admits the “scary” thought he has in the back of his head: the fear that if his ex settles down with someone else, the family won’t “need to be close” with him anymore. Kim, of course, reassures Disick that they’ll “always” be close, and tells him to worry about that when it happens.

The clip ends with Kim revealing in her confessional that he is taking “a little big longer — or a lot longer — than Kourtney” is when it comes to adjusting to life apart.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians airs on E! Sundays at 9 pm. ET.

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